Let's never say the "P" word.

So here I am, in Winnipeg. It's me, here, in the capital of Manitoba. I'm me, this city is Winnipeg. Full stop. This does not make me a "Pegger". In fact I'm not even sure if it's a real thing people call themselves... I've just gotten a lot of ribbing regarding this moniker from certain Ontario residents who shall remain nameless. Annnnnd that's the last time you'll see that word mentioned on this blog. It's now taboo - an evil that probably exists but should never be spoken of, like Voldemort.... or Justin Bieber.

And now, with no further ado, and in no particular order, here are some Winnipeg things thus far.

1) The view from my room. Not just another landscape... this view features a combination KFC/Taco Bell! It's not quite as awesome as if it was this... I'm going to have to make an amended cover.

2) Where I want to work. I found this company that seems incredibly cool... as does the owner. Talk to me, Tripwire Media Group!

3) Oh this really has nothing to do with Winnipeg, but I'm loving it right now. Some genius had the idea to take Kanye West's tweets and combine them with famously-unfunny New Yorker cartoons. I like this explanation of why the juxtaposition works:

Kanye’s tweets are more or less raw id (unfiltered, portraying base emotions and simple thoughts) and New Yorker cartoons are almost entirely superego (carefully considered, ‘quiet’ presentation).

Here are my favourite ones... but you can find all of them here.

Tadaaaaa! Much more Winnipeg-related, and non-Winnipeg-related, non-linear items of interest coming soon.

I could hear my frontal lobe sizzling like bacon as I watched this

... now everything smells like apples.

I enjoy that I live in a world where there exists a logical connection between the video above, and this.

Q: What were you before? A: Blue.

Right now I am loving this:



Things that I like to see in music videos:

- Silent captions
- White outfits
- Clockwork Orange references
- Alex Jameses
- Eyeliner on a guy that can't be classified as the fucking stupid emo-bullshit or poppy-glam lameness that is "guyliner"
- Weird industrial symbols for things like magnetic men and embryo martinis

SUPERB!

And on a pretty much totally unrelated note (except for maybe the white shirts? if we're being nitpicky), another awesome thing I've discovered lately is the Starz sitcom Party Down.

It's like Curb Your Enthusiasm humour mixed with workplace comedy, it's got hilarious people like Lizzy Caplan, Jane Lynch, Martin Starr, and Jennifer Coolidge, Paul Rudd is a writer/producer, STEVE GUTTENBERG plays an awesome (yet weirdly muscled) version of himself for an entire episode, and then just random awesome shit like this:



Although I think Starz sounds like a TV network owned by Lisa Frank. Eh, whatever.

Some summery

Humber Bay Park and the viking funeral of Chunky the phone.



We saw this chip truck on the way to the park... it doesn't get more appropriate.

Offerings for the deceased to take with him to the afterlife. Chunky was never a fan of taking food from his charge cord... in fact, we thought he might have been anorexic. Hopefully he'll appreciate fruits, ice cream, pizza and fish and chips better.



His ringtone for years was Let's Dance by Bowie, so this is what we played on the turntable as we sent him on his way to Valhalla.



Goodbye, old friend... and hello summer.

So um... what's the deal with Rockwell?

I'm not saying...





...I'm just saying.

What an action movie should be

This is the trailer for "Lebanon", written and directed by Samuel Maoz.

I was lucky enough to see this last year at TIFF, and was blown away (seriously, honestly, no pun intended there). I was actually volunteering at the time and probably should have been paying more attention to my ticket-ripping duties, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen...it was so powerful, moving, and incredibly unique.

The story is told from the perspective of four young soldiers in a tank in the Lebanon war; and you, the viewer, are stuck in the tank with them for the duration of the film. The majority of these guys are totally new and incredibly nervous, and their fears, hesitation, guilt, and of course, claustrophobia are brilliantly conveyed. However, there's also levity to be found in the sort of banter that is unavoidable when relative strangers are forced to get to know one another right quick. The whole thing was so affecting and just... so *real*, I wasn't at all surprised when I met the director after the show and learned that it was based on his own war experiences.

So in case it wasn't already obvious... this is a really big and genuine recommendation. Don't spend your money on whatever fucking bullshit $120-bajillion-CGI-budget blockbuster piece of crap is being shoved down your throat everytime you turn on the TV! See Lebanon instead, get the same adrenaline rush, and actually walk away thinking you've done something worthwhile with 2 hours of your life.

What's a Winnipeg?

I know nothing whatsoever about Winnipeg! Except that it's in Manitoba!

When I think about Winnipeg, my brain goes like this:


...which is appropriate since pug faces kind of look like brains. But that doesn't make it right! I should stop being such an ignoramus, and make an effort to know more about the diverse and probably uniquely awesome cities in this pretty freaking vast country.

Maybe I should move there to find out more. Yes, I think this is the best plan... some real nitty-gritty firsthand investigative journalism.

More to come on Winnipeg in the future! But for the next few months, lots more about Toronto and all it has to offer before I go. It's like in a movie when someone finds out they only have ____ long to live... suddenly their lust for life increases 1000 fold and they do all the adventurous things they've always meant to do, but sadly they don't get to do that one last thing that was the central driving motivation of the screenplay and then the music gets really tragic yet beautifully inspirational as they slowly fade away on their deathbed and then their left-behind loved one walks into the horizon with a determined chin and a newfound appreciation for the impermanence of life and what it means to really be alive...

Except this won't be as profound as all that, I'll probably just be going to the beach and trying some new falafel places.