Tuesday, May 4, 2010

What's a Winnipeg?

I know nothing whatsoever about Winnipeg! Except that it's in Manitoba!

When I think about Winnipeg, my brain goes like this:


...which is appropriate since pug faces kind of look like brains. But that doesn't make it right! I should stop being such an ignoramus, and make an effort to know more about the diverse and probably uniquely awesome cities in this pretty freaking vast country.

Maybe I should move there to find out more. Yes, I think this is the best plan... some real nitty-gritty firsthand investigative journalism.

More to come on Winnipeg in the future! But for the next few months, lots more about Toronto and all it has to offer before I go. It's like in a movie when someone finds out they only have ____ long to live... suddenly their lust for life increases 1000 fold and they do all the adventurous things they've always meant to do, but sadly they don't get to do that one last thing that was the central driving motivation of the screenplay and then the music gets really tragic yet beautifully inspirational as they slowly fade away on their deathbed and then their left-behind loved one walks into the horizon with a determined chin and a newfound appreciation for the impermanence of life and what it means to really be alive...

Except this won't be as profound as all that, I'll probably just be going to the beach and trying some new falafel places.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

New Freddy Krueger looks like Vincent the Beast


I'm not a fan of remakes as a rule anyway... but I'm especially against this! Dear Hollywood, please stop raping my youth (and setting it on fire).

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The coolest kids EVER

Reason number 12, 455 to talk to your children about drugs. Specifically, make them understand that they shouldn't do drugs, but if they simply MUST, they're going to do real drugs, and properly, dammit! Decadent parties, dangerous strangers, the full Lou Reed nine yards. Not cheersing whip-it balloons with your band camp friends in someone's WoW basement and then posting a video of it to YouTube. This is hardly a worthwhile way to kill 8 million brain cells.


I just want to punch the dude on the left. Right in his doughy, addled face.


Saturday, March 27, 2010

Where zee heck have I been?


I'll admit I dropped the ball on kicking the ol' sky for a while there...


But here I am... back on it and full of pep, zest, sass, vim, and all sorts of other effervescent-type words which can double as cleaning product brand names.


New look and lots and lots and lots more blogs coming soon! Which I'm sure all 3 people who read this will be THRILLED to hear. YEZZZ!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Fabulous Fashions #2

French bread manicure: Good idea/bad idea?


This girl knows what I'm talking about:

Monday, January 11, 2010

Chère-chez la femme


Brian G. Smith, my awesome and hilarious uncle (who I would call "Funcle" were it not for the fact that that word sounds like a growth on someone's butt cheek) made a short film that won this year's 69-hour Film Challenge, and it's finally available to view online!

Check out the excellently-named Chère at the National Screen Institute website.

And also make sure to visit Brian's company's site: www.youandmedia.com(edy)!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Insipid lyrics to amuse and inspire

We've been together for a long time, baby
Do you have to leave?
Please don't go girl
I just can't live without you
Please don't go girl
So listen to me... (Don't go, girl)
Please don't go girl
You would ruin my whole world
Tell me you'll stay
Never ever go away
I love you (I love you)
I guess I always will
Girl, you're my best friend
Girl, you're my love within
I just want you to know
That I will always love you
Ooh, baby

Tell me you'll stay
Never ever go away
I need you (I need you)
I guess I always will
Girl, you're my best friend
Girl, you're my love within
I just want you to know
That I will always love you
Ooh, baby

(Please don't go girl)
I'm gonna always love you girl
I'm gonna love you girl until the end of time
Tell me girl
You're gonna always be mine

Please don't go girl
You would ruin my whole world
Tell me you'll stay
Never ever go away
I love you (I love you)
I guess I always will
Girl, you're my best friend
Girl, you're my love within
I just want you to know
That I will always love you
Ooh, baby

(Please don't go girl)
(Please don't go girl)
Please don't go girl
(Please don't go girl)
Please don't go, baby
(Please don't go girl)
Please don't go girl
(Please don't go girl)
Please don't go darlin'
(Please don't go girl)
Please don't go, baby, no

Let me start out by saying this: it's not schadenfreude! (but you should visit that link, it's quite interesting)

Let the pure, unadulterated mediocrity of these words wash over you! Think about how insanely, mind-blowingly famous the New Kids on The Block were in their heyday! Come to terms with the fact that this song made it to #10 on the Billboard charts!

Then sit back, collect your thoughts, and create something great. Anything you want... as long as you're proud of it and you know it took more effort and attention than plugging the words "girl", "always" and "love" into the Lyric-o-Matic 2000.

So what if no one ever makes an action figure that vaguely resembles your countenance. So what if Japanese girls don't cry and faint when you walk into a hotel lobby. You're creative and unique and amazing; and you know it.

Yes that was a bit of a saccharine sentiment... but I don't care!