I just got home and my phone rang. It was Dottie, a nice, matronly-sounding Rogers customer service agent. She started off by thanking me for being a Rogers customer, and then excitedly began to tell me that they are now offering three free months when you sign up for their VIP cable package.
"Oh, thanks but I don't have a TV." This is a lie, as there are two televisions in my home at present time. One is in my bedroom, and unused, as the playstation that used to be attached to it (for movie-watching purposes only) has been returned to its owner. Right now it is used as surface storage for a few books, canvases, and an egg that I painted to look like Divine. The other is a yellow 1979 Toshiba blackstripe, an awesome vintage piece of technology I purchased from a kindly old man back in Ottawa. It serves as decoration only and is sitting in my hallway, supporting a life-size blow-up version of Edvard Munch's screamer.
The point, and the reason I replied as I did, is that for most normal intents and purposes, I don't have a "TV". I don't watch television, other than a few programs that I think are deserving enough of my attention for me to bother downloading or streaming (shhh!).
The kicker was Dottie's reply.
"Oh!" she said, and I could hear sympathetic tones seeping into her voice. "I'm sorry to hear that."
In my mind there are two possible scenarios here. She could have assumed that I don't have a TV because I can't afford one, and was genuinely, albeit misguidedly, sorry for me; because who in North America in this day and age doesn't want and/or have TV? The other more sinister, capitalistic (and heck, most likely) possibility was that she was simply expressing regret at not being able to sell me an expensive and superflous media package that would do the opposite of enriching my life, while draining my bank account. In which case... way to go Rogers, it's actually kind of refreshing to see that you're teaching your reps the value of transparency in their sales pitches.
When I hung up the phone I got to thinking...am I sorry to hear that I don't have a TV? I thought about the above-mentioned stuff that's currently residing on top of the two TVs I own. If I had said yes to Dottie and invited cable into my life, would those canvases remain forever blank? Would Divine the Drag Egg remain eternally lonely? And really, do I actually think I am missing out on anything by not having Rogers' newest all-you-can-watch buffet beamed into my brain on an ongoing basis?
No, Dottie m'dear, I'm not sorry at all.
"Oh, thanks but I don't have a TV." This is a lie, as there are two televisions in my home at present time. One is in my bedroom, and unused, as the playstation that used to be attached to it (for movie-watching purposes only) has been returned to its owner. Right now it is used as surface storage for a few books, canvases, and an egg that I painted to look like Divine. The other is a yellow 1979 Toshiba blackstripe, an awesome vintage piece of technology I purchased from a kindly old man back in Ottawa. It serves as decoration only and is sitting in my hallway, supporting a life-size blow-up version of Edvard Munch's screamer.
The point, and the reason I replied as I did, is that for most normal intents and purposes, I don't have a "TV". I don't watch television, other than a few programs that I think are deserving enough of my attention for me to bother downloading or streaming (shhh!).
The kicker was Dottie's reply.
"Oh!" she said, and I could hear sympathetic tones seeping into her voice. "I'm sorry to hear that."
In my mind there are two possible scenarios here. She could have assumed that I don't have a TV because I can't afford one, and was genuinely, albeit misguidedly, sorry for me; because who in North America in this day and age doesn't want and/or have TV? The other more sinister, capitalistic (and heck, most likely) possibility was that she was simply expressing regret at not being able to sell me an expensive and superflous media package that would do the opposite of enriching my life, while draining my bank account. In which case... way to go Rogers, it's actually kind of refreshing to see that you're teaching your reps the value of transparency in their sales pitches.
When I hung up the phone I got to thinking...am I sorry to hear that I don't have a TV? I thought about the above-mentioned stuff that's currently residing on top of the two TVs I own. If I had said yes to Dottie and invited cable into my life, would those canvases remain forever blank? Would Divine the Drag Egg remain eternally lonely? And really, do I actually think I am missing out on anything by not having Rogers' newest all-you-can-watch buffet beamed into my brain on an ongoing basis?
No, Dottie m'dear, I'm not sorry at all.
i look forward to the day when the internet completely puts them out of business.
ReplyDeleterogers are a bunch of thieving whores. dottie included.
also... i bet you $100 'dottie' is a fake name.